digression

my aunt lives in auckland, about 350 miles north of wellington.

why is it that south is always "down" from north?

my theory is it's part of a geographic hegemony by the northern hemisphere.

up is more valued than down, therefore north is up and south is down.

that's why new zealand is always at the bottom of a world map.

We went and had lunch today with my Mum and her sister, my aunt, who was down visiting for a couple of weeks.  We had roast beef, vegetables, potatoes, red wine, strawberries and raspberries for dessert.

When I was growing up, we used to go and have Sunday lunch every week with my grandparents, my Dad's parents.  It was a family ritual, piling us three kids into the back of the car and driving out for lunch.

Every lunch would be a big roast dinner. And there would always be lots of puddings - jellies, apple crumble and cream.   My sisters and I would eat at our own little table, a folding card table set up in the laundry off the kitchen.  When I got a little older, I graduated to the big table. My grandfather always cut the meat, it was a man's job. I have never learned to cut meat.

Sometimes us kids would get some stale bread and go across the road to the stream to feed the ducks.  "dill, dill, dill" we would yell, and the ducks would swim up near us, ducking and diving and fighting for bread. Once I fell in the stream when I was there with my friend. I was young and couldn't swim, and had to hold on to the bank while he ran back to get my Mum and Grandad. I couldn't understand why they were mad at me. It's only looking back I realise how close I was to drowning.

When we arrived on Sundays, my Dad would go out to the garage with my Grandfather and drink beer and talk. I'd often go in too, looking at all the tools - my Grandad was a carpenter - finding things to play with, taking sips of the beer. Once, when I sat down to dinner, my head spun. I was drunk.

My Grandparents were married less than 9 months before my Dad was born.  They had met when my Grandad was building a house for my Grandmother's family. I guess you married then, in those circumstances. I'm not sure it was an entirely happy marriage, but it lasted.

I was about 16 when my Grandfather died. I'd been away on a tramp and it was all over when I got back.  My Grandmother was my last grandparent to die, in 1991. She was at our wedding. She suffered from Alzheimer's disease. Once, when Debbie and I were visiting her, she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told her my wife probably wouldn't like it if I did.

At the time I thought the Sunday lunches were more a chore than a pleasure. These thoughts I've just written I haven't thought for a long time. I'm glad now we used to go for lunch.