heard through the
baby monitor

you, cat, are going to get it. if you make me chase you, i'll fucking kill you.

come on matthew, it's night time now, go to sleep.

gump, out of the box, you're making far too much noise.

what's your problem, go to sleep. it's night time. it's really late. good night.

Today was better.

Last night, after yet another stupid petty little fight, and as we made up, I told Debbie I wanted to quit my job. That I wasn't enjoying it, that I wasn't doing it well, and that my heart wasn't in it. It's getting harder and harder to pretend otherwise. So we'll talk about other options soon. Maybe her going back to work and my looking after Matthew for a while. But I've got to at least stick it out till the end of the year.

And I stuck it out today. Cleared some stuff off my desk that had been piling up. Nothing too important or big, but it felt good to make some progress.

Deb drove into town today with Matthew to see a friend for lunch, and then drove round and saw me. I was really proud of her. She's just got her license recently, and although a good driver, still needs to build up her confidence. The only way to do that is driving, so it's good she did that by herself today.

I can hear Debbie through the baby monitor trying to put Matthew down. It's 11.30pm. I've just spent an hour holding him, trying to get him to settle, changed his nappy, rocked him - all to no avail. Deb's just given him a top-up feed, but it hasn't worked yet.

He has been sleeping through the night, 7-8 hours. That's unusual in a baby so young, but not something we're complaining about. Tonight may not be like that!