Vignettes from the life of a four year old
31 August, 2002

Matthew started morning kindergarten last week. He's been going to afternoon kindy for over a year now. But morning kindy is a big step up - he'll go every morning for four hours.

I went with him on his first day and stayed for the first couple of hours until he settled in. It was really amazing to sit back and observe him at play.

He is so different from me as a young child. I remember being so shy, so unconfident.

Matthew, however, is a leader. I watch as he organises the other kids. He tells them what to do. Not in a mean bossy way, but because he is enthusiastic and wants to do everything all at once.

He knew several of the kids who used to be in afternoon kindy with him, and within half an hour they had joined together in a little "gang" - him and Zane and Maggie and Shafina. They were running around together, with Matthew orchestrating the whole thing. "Over here!" Matthew would yell and the others would come running. "Let's climb this!" and up Matthew would go, the others behind.

As I watch him, I am filled with awe that this confident little person is my son, so sure of himself. I know there are situations in which he isn't - when he is first introduced to a new activity or place, or when he enters a room full people he doesn't know, he holds back. He waits and watches until he is comfortable. But when he is comfortable, he just takes off and nothing can stop him.

Matthew comes running into the kindergarten where I am sitting with Joshua.

"Mama, come outside and watch me!"
"Okay, Matt, I'll just put Josh's coat on."
Matthew turns to his friend Zane who has come up beside him.
"I'm waiting for my mother."
"I'll wait too" says Zane.

I look, and the two boys are holding hands, waiting for me. I treasure this sweet display of innocence, knowing that in a year or two, after they start school, they will be a little older and wiser about the ways of the school ground. They will not deign to hold hands then. Nor will they want to be seen waiting patiently for Mama.

Matthew is sitting at the table this morning eating toast.

"Mama, I'm going to stay seven forever."
"Do you mean that when you turn seven, you aren't going to get any older?"
"Yes. I'm going to stay seven forever."
"Why don't you want to get older?"
"Because I don't want to shave like Daddy."
"Oh. Well, why don't you stay four forever, then?"
"Because I need to be seven to get that Playmobil space set."

Matthew thinks of everything! I can see his little brain whirring away, calculating the exact age he needed to be to avoid shaving yet get the toy he wants.

If only he could stay little forever. I know I wouldn't really want that, but sometimes I am so sad at the thought of him growing up.

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